When youʼre starting to build relationships in a newly-formed agile team, the first retrospectives can feel challenging. You donʼt know each other well, and you need to find a balance between being open and giving people time to adjust.

Consider a ritual often used by sports teams after a difficult loss. The group stands in a circle, and everyone—including the coaching staff—must speak. Before sharing what they think the team lacked, each person first acknowledges what the previous speaker did well in the last game. This not only encourages honest conversation, but also helps people recognize that their self-criticism might sometimes be too harsh. After everyone has spoken, the team moves on to training and prepares for the next challenge.

Beyond team meetings, this approach is valuable for your own self-talk. Think of stories in books or movies that become compelling when a new perspective emerges. If you catch yourself focusing only on what you lack or where you failed, try to find the alternate story. Often, youʼll discover concrete examples—real accomplishments and moments when you got it right. With time, this practice can help you overcome self-doubt.

Ultimately, nurturing trust within your team—and within yourself—starts with recognizing both strengths and areas for growth. By making space for positive acknowledgment alongside honest feedback, you set the stage for resilience, collaboration, and continuous improvement.